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Your relationship sounds so much like my grandparents' relationship, Bramble! I love the gentleness, the mutual respect, the kindness, the way you cherish each other. I really think this is how relationships should be. Thanks so much for the beautiful and inspiring article, and please write more!
by Sarah Cavendish on 2005 Feb 20 - 05:56 | reply to this comment Teamwork rocks! Hi Bramble!
Thanks for letting us all learn by hearing about your relationship! You and your husband have been through so many difficult experiences, yet you are both always able to maintain a strong and loving bond with one another. That is something so special!
by babydoll on 2005 Feb 20 - 07:18 | reply to this comment A beautiful marriage I agree that this sounds exactly how a marriage should be.
I identify with certain areas in particular, my husband is the stricter parent, for instance, though these days we have fewer clashes over the children than we used to, he is more willing to make compromise decisions about them because I am more willing to listen to him.
Other things are quite different from my own experience, I've never personally known any couple, of any generation, where the wife was expected to obey the husband, certainly not in my own parents' case, my father would have been horrifed at the very idea. And my husband has always been tidier than I am, much tidier.
In our case, the 'punishment' thing is something he does because he knows I want him to, it's not a serious belief that I can somehow be reformed by being spanked, it's just more exciting for me if I feel there is a 'real' reason why he is doing it. Neither of us is perfect, and neither expects the other to be perfect, it just makes our relationship more fun.